Well, if this just doesn't stink.
Finally got a letter back from Second Story Press. Lovely rejection letter, as far as rejections go, and I've collected quite a few in the past 5 or so years. However, it's delivery was extremely unprofessional. And I'm not talking about our nice mail lady.
First of all, it's November now, right? Hmm, the letter is dated August 10. Secondly, it wasn't even sealed, and it's a freaking self-sealed envelope. All they had to do was peel and stick. Sheesh. But wait, I'm not done yet!! At one point, it was taped shut, and then opened?!! WTF is that all about???
Oh yeah, and it's not Canada Post's fault that it was over 3 months in transit . . . the post mark says it hit the post office in Toronto on Remembrance Day. Complete with blurb "Lest We Forget".
Okay, so you don't like my book. Fine. But for chrissake, be a little freaking professional in your rejections. Or at least mail them in a timely manner. You can't tell me someone didn't do a Timmy's run in the middle of August and couldn't have dropped it in a mailbox on the way!
Ricidulous.
And to top if off, due to SSP's lack of ability in finding a mailbox, I now cannot submit my m/s to the Unhanged Arthur, because submissions closed a couple of weeks ago.
ARGH!!!
I should really phone that chick up and give her a piece of my mind. Or not. Hmmmm . . .
Monday, November 16, 2009
For the love of coffee
Bonjour, je m’appelle Phoebe La Mange and I am the new guest columnist at the bRokEn TypEwriTeR.
After 40 years of eating and enjoying, or not, the food, I have found my true calling in praising the noteworthy culinary establishments around the city.
So, in true French fashion, I will begin with the analysis of coffee in our humble city.
For such a backward, redneck city, I find it refreshing that there are so many choices when it comes to finding a tasse du café. Clearly, it is not all about the beer here.
It was the talk of the town when Starbucks opened in the Safeway store, for years I have had to listen to people bemoaning the lack of a Starbucks in the city, and certainly, they make bon café. But how do you decide what to order? The list of choices is longer than my brother Henri’s prize-winning baguettes! I, myself, prefer the white chocolate café mocha, which is, as they say, to die for.
The other most-populaire coffee house, is also a member of a chain (the citizens are showing their redneck roots now, frequenting chains, not true cafés) – Tim Horton’s. There are two of these locations in the city, with a slightly shorter list of choices than Starbucks. More like Henri’s French bread, not the baguettes. The café is very similar to Starbucks, but I have noticed that many devoted Starbucks drinkers cannot stand Tim’s. Each to his own.
But whatever you do, do not take the deep breath when going up to the drive through window at Tim Horton’s!! Sacre bleu!! It is often like getting a blast of the parfum of dear old Pepe! The stink, it is horrible!
I have to say, my favorite café is Cosmic Grounds. Again, a list of choices comparable to Starbucks, but not part of a chain. It is a true café, with a pleasant atmosphere, homemade foods, if one is feeling a bit peckish, and above all, delightful, rich smelling, delicious café!
After 40 years of eating and enjoying, or not, the food, I have found my true calling in praising the noteworthy culinary establishments around the city.
So, in true French fashion, I will begin with the analysis of coffee in our humble city.
For such a backward, redneck city, I find it refreshing that there are so many choices when it comes to finding a tasse du café. Clearly, it is not all about the beer here.
It was the talk of the town when Starbucks opened in the Safeway store, for years I have had to listen to people bemoaning the lack of a Starbucks in the city, and certainly, they make bon café. But how do you decide what to order? The list of choices is longer than my brother Henri’s prize-winning baguettes! I, myself, prefer the white chocolate café mocha, which is, as they say, to die for.
The other most-populaire coffee house, is also a member of a chain (the citizens are showing their redneck roots now, frequenting chains, not true cafés) – Tim Horton’s. There are two of these locations in the city, with a slightly shorter list of choices than Starbucks. More like Henri’s French bread, not the baguettes. The café is very similar to Starbucks, but I have noticed that many devoted Starbucks drinkers cannot stand Tim’s. Each to his own.
But whatever you do, do not take the deep breath when going up to the drive through window at Tim Horton’s!! Sacre bleu!! It is often like getting a blast of the parfum of dear old Pepe! The stink, it is horrible!
I have to say, my favorite café is Cosmic Grounds. Again, a list of choices comparable to Starbucks, but not part of a chain. It is a true café, with a pleasant atmosphere, homemade foods, if one is feeling a bit peckish, and above all, delightful, rich smelling, delicious café!
Friday, November 6, 2009
Bite the bullet
The Rednecks of Canada have triumphed! Yes, indeed, hunters and long gun collectors can soon breathe a sigh of relief. More than 10 years after the federal Liberals came up with the idea of a gun registry for rifles etc., the Conservatives, along with some of their more redneck-minded colleagues in other parties have succeeded in voting down the dreaded legislation.
At long last, we, the residents of the backwoods, the frozen North, can venture forth with our guns and plunder wildlife to stock our freezers for the long, cold winter. No more can the government, in its dubious wisdom, regulate our methods of procuring meat - except by issuing hunting licenses. No more will honest hunters and farmers have to live under a cloud of discrimination imposed upon us by big-city dwellers, who believe that criminals will, a) use rifles or shotguns more often than not; b) will actually register these weapons; and c) that anyone who owns, or wants to own, a gun must be a criminal.
So, to the hunters of Canada, I say: Grab your rifles and get you some tags . . . deer season opened on the weekend, and the freezer is empty!! Go forth, and hunt!!
At long last, we, the residents of the backwoods, the frozen North, can venture forth with our guns and plunder wildlife to stock our freezers for the long, cold winter. No more can the government, in its dubious wisdom, regulate our methods of procuring meat - except by issuing hunting licenses. No more will honest hunters and farmers have to live under a cloud of discrimination imposed upon us by big-city dwellers, who believe that criminals will, a) use rifles or shotguns more often than not; b) will actually register these weapons; and c) that anyone who owns, or wants to own, a gun must be a criminal.
So, to the hunters of Canada, I say: Grab your rifles and get you some tags . . . deer season opened on the weekend, and the freezer is empty!! Go forth, and hunt!!
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